You turned one this weekend. I still cannot quite believe that! To you the years ahead will probably seem to take an eternity, but to me, the thought that there are only 17 more of those quick years before you are an adult sounds terrifyingly fast.
You are changing so quickly lately that I can’t catch my breath. You seem to wake up different every day, ready to learn new skills, utter new sounds, move around a little more confidently. It’s tough to let you do it sometimes. To let you grow up. As I feel your little brother or sister kicking away in my tummy I cannot help but remember that you were doing that just a year ago, and it makes me realize all over again how parenting is such a process of learning to let our children go.
And while it is tough sometimes, it is also such a beautiful thing to witness. I am so proud to see you develop so quickly, and I am relieved and encouraged to see how wonderfully joyful you are so much of the time. People always comment on how happy you are, and it makes my heart glad, for that is what I want for you.
Although the memories will fade for you, this first year with you will be forever engraved in my heart (although much may well be painted over with nostalgia!), and even as I struggle to let you keep moving at this ridiculous pace, there is a part of me that is eager to see what you do with the next year and the many more to follow, to get to know you a little more, to see you become who you are called to be.
I want to ask your forgiveness for the
many many times in the last year when I have fallen short of being the mother you truly deserve, when I have lost my temper or not been there for you as much as I could have been. I hope you know that I love you more than I could ever say, and that it is a privilege to be your mother. There is simply no other word for it.
Thank you for bringing us more joy than we could ever have imagined. For more laughter and blessings than we have ever had before. Thank you for your smiles, giggles, chuckles, and cackles. For your infectious enthusiasm. For your cuddles and kisses. For your love.
As your daddy tells you every night: You are safe. You are beautiful. You are loved. Always. Don’t ever let the world try and tell you otherwise. Keep being you. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
May God, who knew and loved you even before I did, bless you abundantly in all you do.