**Five Minute Friday is an initiative set up by Lisa-Jo Baker over at Surprised by Motherhood. The basic premise is to take the word Lisa-Jo gives and write, non-stop for 5 minutes. Then you stop and post. Read more about it here.
People have always thought of me as a naturally organized person. I can see why. I give off that kind of vibe. But in reality, it is most often simply a front, one that hides the mind that is elsewhere, the missed appointments, the millions of separate to-do lists, none of which ever seem to get ticked off.
I get lost in technology and new ideas, trying to figure out a hundred different ways of organizing my life, of sorting it out once and for all. I love to try out these new methods, but they rarely seem to stick. At least not without a lot of effort on my part.
“I will make sure I do the washing up straight after using it so that it is easier to clean.”
“I will put things back where they came from after using them so that I can actually see my dining room table for a change!”
“I will make sure we organize our time well this month so that we do not end up busy every single weekend like we have the last few months.”
I get excited about the promises, and tell myself it will be different this time.
But I sit here on a chair that I share with clean laundry that has yet to be put away, my laptop balancing precariously on the one-sixteenth of the dining room table that is currently visible and usable.
A sigh escapes me, and I hear that word again, the one that creeps up on you when you look around at all the things you haven’t done.
He opens my eyes to see that the mess accumulates on the table because today my husband was home for most of the day and we spent that time together rather than tidying up.
He shows me that the dishwasher runs again because I took the time to bake something special for us, and to have some creative time, and it resulted in more washing up than usual.
He reminds me that the half hour or more I could have spent scrubbing or organizing or tidying I spent in quiet time with Him, and He thanks me for it.
He sees what I do not. That while organization, cleaning, tidying is important, it should not be at the expense of time spent with loved ones, of prayer, of life. That there is beauty in the chaos, and stories in the mess.
The Bible is full of stories of how God redeems our mess. So I offer it all to Him and let out another sigh. But I no longer breathe out failure. I breathe in grace.